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Struggle to Love Yourself

Elyse Frank

So I just put Raelynn down for a nap and I finally have a second to myself. Usually she naps for about 2-2 1/2 hours, but if you have had a baby before, you know anything can change at any given time. We are currently potty training so right before nap time, and after sitting on the potty for 30 minutes, she decided to pee in her underwear that I had just put on her. What am I doing lol But anyway..... there’s a topic that I want to dive into because I hear it from clients and I, myself, had a hard time with this. The Struggle to Love Yourself.

Do you find yourself feeling like you constantly do things for other people and you just cant say no? But when it comes to doing things for yourself, the word no comes out so easily.

-No, I don't have enough money for this new shirts

-No, I can't start that journey right now

-No, I don't have time to read a book

-No, I am not going out because I hate the way my clothes look on me

-No, I'll try another time

-No, I’ll never lose the weight


When you wake up in the morning, what do you see in the mirror? Who is that person starring back at you? Is it who you want to be, or who you think you should be? There were days that I would look at myself in the mirror and ask myself “What am I doing”. Looking at myself I didn’t feel pretty, saw all of my flaws, and felt trapped in this body of some girl. I knew I deserved better and I knew I wanted more in life, but I couldn’t find a way out. We all have those moments of “I want to be like that movie star” or “I want to lose 35lbs” or “I want to write a book”. But something holds us back. It’s like we talk ourselves out of being the best version of who we can be. We are so afraid of what others might think, or that we might not be accepted, but then again, whose approval do we need? People will try to tear us apart or break us down, but we are strong and don't need to let them in or get to our heads. But be polite and thank them for making you stronger. Because that exactly what is happening. All of these obstacles and haters make us realize that we don't need that kind of negativity in our life. And we can walk away at any time. THANK YOU!

So let me ask you, why do we constantly feel as though we don’t deserve better? It’s okay to be scared or to have a little self doubt. Changing habits and getting out of our comfort zone takes a lot of courage. Working a 9-5 job that stresses you out and leaves you angry when you walk into your home. Becoming a parent and then feeling like you are failing at everything you do for your child. It’s a new year so you decided to try a spin class, only to give up after the first day because you didn’t think you could do it. Or other people in class were better than you. But that’s it. We always think someone else is better than us, so we stop trying to make ourselves happy. When someone needs our help, we drop everything we are doing and are right their by their side. But what about us? What about our happiness? When will stop putting ourselves last and act on our own desires.

We make excuses all the time instead of taking chances. Looking fear in the face and telling it to move aside. Loving yourself isn’t about being the best in a class or about having a job that pays millions of dollars (well, who would love to make a million dollars). And you can if you put your mind to it. Get rid of the word “Can’t” and even the word “Try”. Let’s clear our mind of negativity and doubt. I know its easier said than done, but the only person stopping us is ourselves. Blogging for me, for example, was never something I was comfortable with because I thought who would even read it. I’m not a writer and I don’t know what others will think. But after I started reading books for pleasure, I realized that these stories started somewhere. People journal all the time and sometime reading what others write, make you realize you feel the same way. So I wanted to share my feelings and put my thoughts on paper. And if someone relates, then I know I made a positive impact on at least 1 person. I'm not trying to make everyone follow in my foot steps, but if I helped that 1 person AND it’s something that I love doing, then thats win in my book. Im doing this for me and I don't need anyone to tell me what they think about it. If this makes me happy then I will continue to keep wiring. Maybe ill even write a book one day.

So Loving Yourself, what does that mean or look like? No, you don’t have to buy yourself nice things to show your love. You deserve to be happy and live the life YOU WANT. Imagine waking up every day and the person smiling at you in the mirror. THAT’S YOU! (Excuse me while I go grab a tissue and wipe the tears from my eyes.) You are your biggest motivator and you are your biggest fan. Cheer yourself on when you accomplish something new. Hold your head up high, shoulders pack and walk like you are the most powerful person in the world, but be humble and kind (love Tim McGraw)…. Don’t go trying to boss people around like they live in your world. You have to accept your strengths and your weakness, and give yourself some credit. Just because you’re not 6ft and playing professional basketball, doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to live the life you want. I'm here to tell you, its okay not to be okay. It's okay to let out a cry or to take a step back when you’re not feeling yourself. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed.


-Yes, there will be challenges along the way

-Yes, others will not approve

-Yes, you might motivate others

-Yes, changes will be scary

-Yes, there will be judgement

-Yes, this will boost your confidence


But you are CAPABLE and UNSTOPPABLE. You are ENOUGH. This is your life, your story, your dreams. The pages to books never start with words or drawing. They are blank pages, ready for you to write how this fairytale of yours goes. It's time to go confidently in the direction of your new path. The past will always be a part of you, but it doesn't have to define you. I will leave you with this. When your in your car or getting ready in the morning to start your day, look up the song “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield. I have shared this song with my clients because it really helps get you in the right mindset. Stop criticizing and forgive yourself for makes that you make. Surround yourself with positive people and give yourself a pep talk when self doubt starts to kick in. Trust and believe in who you are and who you want to be. Now go start living the life you deserve!


Update on Raelynn: She is still asleep and I have more time to myself.

L.Y.F

Love Yourself First

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